For many of us, the holidays bring up all kinds of things that make it difficult for us to stay in a peaceful place. We’re challenged by the added stress of holiday parties, holiday shopping, and more time with family…which isn’t always a joyful thing for many of us!
Why do our closest family members challenge us the most? This is something we work on in Viva’s online course, Difficult People and Other Angels. Most people are unaware of the qualities they came here to develop, unless they’ve gotten some insight into their Soul Path (that’s what Viva partner Leigh Hopkins does with her readings), so most of us have forgotten the topics we came here to address.
When you came into physical life, your first teachers were your parents. Often, it wasn’t the lessons they voiced out loud (don’t talk to strangers, look both ways before crossing the street), but those that they exhibited unconsciously. Here is an incredible exercise—created by Leigh and later on adapted to my teachings—on first identifying some basic issues you might have inherited and might want to bring to consciousness. It will help you to acknowledge the purpose of your messengers, and release them of their sometimes uncomfortable roles by understanding why they are walking with you in this lifetime.
(NOTE: this exercise is a re-post of a lecture from my course, and I thought to post it here because of it’s relevance at this time. To learn more about this work, visit Difficult People and Other Angels).
This exercise is divided into three parts:
- Identifying the characteristics or qualities you inherited from your parents.
- Reading the messages (qualities) they came to help you develop in your life.
- Releasing the negative qualities you inherited and embracing the positive inheritances. This will come later in this course.
Before beginning, you may want to light a white candle or burn some sage to clear the space around you. Find a sheet of blank white paper for each person you’ve chosen to work with. So, for example, one sheet for your mother, another for your dad, perhaps even one for your grandmother and another for grandfather, if relevant. Don’t forget to do a sheet for you (this is essential).
- Write down the name of each person on top of the sheet.
- Fold or draw a vertical line in the middle of each sheet.
- In the left column, start by listing all the health problems, illnesses or negative physical characteristics of the person you are working on first. Let’s say it is your mother. Continue down the list, listing the negative behavior and personality traits, addictions or patterns you think that your mom has or had. If you feel led to elaborate on something (or vent!), please do so. Really explore these challenges.
- In the right column, list all of your mother’s positive traits (personality, physical attributes, behavior, etc.) Write about all that’s healthy and wonderful about your mom on the right side.
- Repeat this exercise with your father and any other family members that you have listed.
- Now it’s time for your sheet. Have you found any similarities between your issues and your parent’s issues? You may be surprised. I ended up finding out that my father had also had an ACL tear in his left knee, the same as mine. AND, he and I had similar life topics/themes/qualities that needed to be resolved!
If you cannot remember someone’s physical afflictions, call them and ask, or ask other family members.
Stay with this information for a couple of days until you feel you’ve exhausted every aspect of each person. You’ll be surprised by the number of “Ah-has!” that come up during this exercise.
In another week or so, I’ll be back to answer the question, “So NOW what?”